RIP The Tonight Show

There's another death in 2010 we should bring to attention.  I said it before when Conan got eff'd over and I will say it again. RIP The Tonight Show.
I caught a little bit of it about a week ago. Good Lord if that's not the biggest piece of shit I don't know what is. It's basically talk show open mic with a budget.
Right now I am watching a rerun of Conan and it's still so much better than Jay Leno's Tonight Show.  I don't really have a point I guess, but the more I watch Conan the worse The Tonight Show becomes.
So after Leno gets fired or "retires", I wonder who they could have take over so it doesn't die. Fallon maybe? I don't think he would work. Joel McHale would be amazing, but why would he want that.
Anywhos, my point is, I hate The Tonight Show. Of course unless I get a chance to be on The Tonight Show and then.....I LOVE THE TONIGHT SHOW!!!!
RIP The Tonight Show. I shouldn't drink Vodka so late. Oh and did anyone else know that Barbara Billingsley, aka Mrs. Cleaver, died this year? I didn't

DEAR SARAH MCLAUGHLIN

Has anyone seen these depressing commercials?  Nothing about it is happy. Broken dogs & cats in slow motion with Sarah Mclaughlin music playing over the whole commercial. While they are at it, why don't they show footage of dogs and cats getting ran over in slow motion.
I think they should shoot a new commercial with more upbeat songs. Maybe have some rock or metal songs playing over the fucked up dogs & cats video. Then the animals don't look pathetic, they look bad ass. Think about it. Dog in cage with one eye while Sara Mclaughlin music over the video is sad and depressing.  NOW think about the same one eyed dog in a cage with something like Slayer's "Reign of Blood" or "Angel of Death" and that one eyed dog or cat kicks total ass! Try it sometime.
So I wonder if after the director of the commercial yells "cut" what do they do with the dogs & cats they just shot? Think about it from the animals point of view.  A group of people (camera crew) come in and the animals probably think they are going home with them. Nope. They are not. The camera crew walk away and out the door.  Hilarious.
I get their message, but they are the most depressing commercials and put everyone in a bad spot. I would love to adopt a dog, but if I do I would get thrown out of my apartment since I cannot have pets in my apartment. So what should I do? I betcha Sarah Mclaughlin never thinks about that. 
I think what I am going to do is adopt every dog & cat in the commercial, then get thrown out of my apartment and become homeless.  THEN, get a camera crew to shoot me being homeless with adopted dogs & cats. Of course it will be in slow motion so I can get my point across.
I'm kidding of course. I wouldn't adopt the cats.  They're assholes.

BLOG AFTER CHRISTMAS

I thought I would try and write a witty blog after Christmas. But to be honest, I got nothing. I've been wearing the same shirt for two days so that's pretty cool. Oh I didn't wake up till noon-ish so that was fun.  Uh....lets see. What else...WELP...that's about it.

"HAPPY DVR-MAS"

Well it's almost Christmas time once again. I live in Los Angeles where it doesn't snow, but has been raining like a son of a bitch. All my family lives up north so I think I will skip Christmas this year. Instead I think I will make up my own holiday... "DVR-MAS"  It's a day of joy and happiness when I can just sit on my couch and not do shit, but watch everything on my DVR and order pizza. And yes, the pizza places are open because they are all run by the type of people who are some kind of Euro-Afri-Exican. God bless 'em for working on this day. For on this day I will not try to figure out what you are. That is my DVR-MAS present to myself.
So soon after Christmas/DVR-MAS,  this decade will be over THANK GOD!  I think people forget that this decade was a decade. I don't even know what you would call it. The "tens"? The "terrible tens"? Who knows? But anywhos, I'm glad this decade is about over because 2011 is the year I take over the world with my talent of dance.
Okay. MERRY CHRISTMAS/DVR-MAS FOLKS!

BRITTNEY

It's such a weird feeling to be someone's hero, but that's what has happened. I don't know for how long, but I have become my niece Brittney's hero. But lets look at this situation. Can I blame her? Can I stop her? Should I stop her? The answer to those questions is of course "no".
Really, can you blame her? You can't really. I mean I am a basic cable paid channel movie star. Yeah, I've been on TV multiple times from movies that I have been in and I am directing one of the greatest movies ever written that I wrote. So yeah, I got a lot going on.
Lets now look at the way I dress. I dress cool. That's just a fact. The clothes in my closet, drawers and on the floor, are priceless. People WANT to dress like me. So there's that.
I'm educated. I recived my digree frum won of the grotest coleges in the nashon. Seattle Central Community College. (I copied & pasted Seattle Central Community College)
See what I did there? I misspelled words on purpose to be funny. You see I am funny. I'm a comic. I'm a comedy writer. THAT'S what I do. I write things and they come out funny.
So really can we blame me for being Brittney's hero? I don't think so. It's my gift. It's my curse.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND DANCING.

So many times I have heard chicks say "Oh I can't wait to go dancing." Or "I haven't been dancing in so long."  I just don't understand what is so fun about dancing?  I love music, like most people, but I just don't understand what the point of dancing is or what about it exactly is fun.
People spend a lot of money to get themselves all pretty and such, then go out to a club.  Drive around for an hour to find parking. Pay for parking.  Then go into some hot box with music that's too loud and where drinks are too expensive.  Then when you find someone who wants to dance you can't ask them you have to yell them to dance. Then you get that far and start moving to the beat and this is supposed to be fun. Sounds like a bunch of gay to me.

THE NEW MOSER BLOG SITE.

After years out of the light, The Tony Moser Blog is here once again. I know all of you have been waiting on baited breath for a new blog by yours truly. I am sorry for the wait. But here it is!
I can't really blog right now because WWE is on and I have to watch that. But stay tuned. A lot of info on Dangerous and other awesome things to come from me.
I love you all.